My first experience with the website known as Facebook came long
ago when a friend of mine encouraged… well, forced me to join. I was still
using the flawed and very notorious site known as Myspace. Now, Myspace has
definitely fallen from its titanic status as the social networking site to use. At the time I left, it was
obvious that the place was on the decline. Today it has become a sort of
American Idol online clone. All of the cool kids moved to Facebook as soon as the
bandwagon came into sight, and I was late.
I noticed many similarities early on, but the annoying
applications and add-on games that Myspace had was the most striking
similarity. Not only this, but the same “friends” of mine pestered me endlessly
to play their games. I had given in to
the invitations on Myspace, but on Facebook I knew not to. Some games required
you to perform hourly tasks where you clicked the same spots over and over.
This might be called torture to me or you, but apparently they enjoyed it. I
soon discovered that I was friends with several masochists.
The website also gives you the ability to “like” things. This
is basically a measure of how cool you are. I once got 15 likes on something.
That’s nothing, some people get hundreds. This is sort of an instant
gratification, and gives people bragging rights. Facebook is all about looking
cool to your friends. It also pesters you into adding people who you barely
know, such as someone who is friends with your third cousin’s friend’s brother.
This gets me
to my point. In order to look cool on Facebook, you must take at least one
picture of yourself with a “duckface.” A duckface is when you curl your lips up
and out like an ape in a picture. You can roll your eyes to look even cooler. It
doesn’t matter how completely ridiculous you might look; the duck lips make you
at least twice as cool as someone without them. Sticking out your tongue,
scrunching your nose, and crossing your eyes tells people that you are an
attractive and fun person to be around.
Facebook is
also a great place for teenagers to hide things from their parents. It has
always been cool to pose while holding bottles of various alcoholic drinks,
such as beer, vodka, or wine. It also showcases to their future employers that
they are responsible and mature.
One time, I
failed to repost a chain mail. It said that if I didn’t send it to at least 5
people in the next hour, a teddy bear would come to life during the night and
kill my sister. And that’s horrible. Well,
guess what, nothing happened. But many people on Facebook believe that there
are murdering bands of teddy bears that roam the streets at night, searching
for people who haven’t reposted their messages, and killing their families.
Now,
Facebook is a really useful website. It’s excellent because you can talk to
anyone you have on your list… Even your dentist. That’s not something I do,
though. It helps you reconnect with people you haven’t talked to in years, then
lets you go right back to forgetting they exist.
